Not just for hippies

Okay, so I started wondering about midwives, and why people choose a midwife over an OB. In my ignorance, I pictured midwives as hippies doing drug-free home birth, bare-footed and not wearing a bra. And listen, I want to deliver in a hospital, and I certaintly want an epidural.

So I asked around, and learned that I was wrong. While some mothers do choose to do home births without the help of drugs, there is a lot more to it than that. A midwife spends more time with you, individualizes your care, and views childbirth as a natural event of life, and not a medical procedure.

I love the idea of seeing the same "doctor" througout my pregnancy, as opposed to most OB's here that work in groups, where you see a different doc all the time and one of them will deliver your baby, but you don't know who. I love the idea of my pre-natal checkups lasting more than a few minutes, and that the midwife will be present through all of your labor and birth, not just at the end.

I learned that my hospital here has a group of midwives, they deliver in the hospital and have a consulting physician. They stay with you, coach you, they can order your epidural, and if something is needed like a c-section then it is handled by the physician.

Appointment with the midwife has been made. :)

Tinkering Around

Okay so this took far to long to figure out. How do you like it? Is it perrrty?

Hubby and I walked to our local pizza joint tonight. Ate dinner. And walked back. Thats a lot of walking for a lazy, barely pregnant lady. Haha. But its good for me, and I really need to keep it up so that I don't turn into a giant cow. Not like I'm a dainty flower to begin with.

Thats all for now. Going off to watch American Idol and daydream about winning the powerball. Peace.

Please, please, please...

That is the word I've been saying most often this week.

Please let this be our take home baby. Please let this baby grow and come home with us. Please, Universe, don't take this away.

Because I got a BFP on Tuesday at 11dpo. And Wed, and Thursday... and so on. I'm so terrified that its not real, or its going to end, that I keep POAS to give myself false reassurance. I called the doc to get an appointment, hoping that he'd see me sooner given our history, but he is still waiting until 8 weeks to see me. Thats four weeks away. :( Am I going to POAS every day until then? I'd go broke.

December 4th. That's our due date. I'm crossing every finger and limb I have.

Rejected

I feel like I went out on a limb, stuck my neck out there, and asked a guy out for a date. And then he said, "No way, Jose". Why do I feel like this? Because Target emailed me and rejected me! Whaaaa?! Said, "thanks for the intrest, but they will not be hiring me at this time." Or something of that nature.

Sure, I'm relieved. But I'm also miffed. Am I not good enough to wear an ugly red shirt and slid items across a red, beamy light? Sigh.

World's most boring blog.

Don't you think? I try and think of witty or wise entries to post, but I got nothin'. Guess I'll just be random.

Yesterday was Sister Day. My sis and I had lunch, went to see Dear John, and then watched our High School girl's basketball team play the state championship game. They lost by two points. Its been 10 years since I graduated high school, but there is a still a sense of pride and connection to your alma mater, don'tcha think?

Yesterday we got the package of backordered baby bedding that we ordered when I was pregnant at the end of last year. If I had not lost that pregnancy, I would be around 20 weeks along. Thats a crazy and sad thought for me. At 20 weeks I would have a buldging belly, be decorating the nursery, and making frequent trips to the doctor. I'm sad for what we lost. And it makes me even more determined to try again and get our forever baby. But it also adds for pressure and anxiety. Its hard, but I make it my goal every day to be optimistic and positive.

This cycle could be the one.

Cycle Day 1

You never met a girl this excited about getting her period. Who knew this would ever happen? CD1 means hubby and I can get back on the TTC wagon. WAHOO! :)

On another note, over dinner, Hubby and I discussed finances as we often do. We'd love a few extra dollars to help pay down a little debt, who wouldn't? So I got a wild hair and applied for a temporary PT job at Target. I tend to be lazy from time to time, so I could regret this decision in the morning. Or, they could not hire me, in which case I would be offended that someone wouldn't hire me for a mundane cashier job.

What was I thinking?

This is a first...

On a whim I've decided to give this blog thing a whirl.

I've kept a diary for a good chunk of my life. Except the last several years. Why? Especially when these last years have included so many exciting times. So here I go again, this time into a digital diary. Wierd.

Here goes nothing!